Dirty eyes, cracked lips, & beautiful.
I ran in the night & caught the wind under my wings.
He called for me, breathless, cold faced & anticipating.
But I was too far away to hear.
Whispering. with a mute grin, stumbling towards the sound of waves.
Every thing's blue, like your eyes when they close.
The stars are burning out.
Flickering as you turn over...in your sleep.
You always turn over.
Bleeding the dream out.
Even without wings, I'll fly away.
Without wings, I'll find you someday.

Broken.the.enrapture

Is this what you've worked so hard for?
You cut and I stumble.
Maybe I'll bleed the rest out.
close. my. eyes .x

FLASH TO: blood splattered on the ceiling.
Blush, like a thousand pink doves fluttering across my cheek.
But you always turn over.
And I bleed from every wound.
I want to say "kiss me"

She's come undone:
They say every great story, has its tragedy.
Muse leaving shriveled memories that turn to dust and sparkle in the wind.
Burning like the sky.
Clouds fluxing.

Dangerous girl. turning up the sheets like the sea at storm.
And you asked me if I felt faint when I saw the blood.
Lips gave me their last taste of blue

September falls with the last bitter minutes of twilight.
Your eyes open, unblinking.
And I smile, while running through the darkened streets.
Scattered puddles glowing silver, then black under my feet.
The hum of the world.
Numb hands.
I reached out to touch your face, before I left.
Your mouth was cold.
Your hair hung like lace trim.
Sand under your fingernails and little flecks of blood.
Your wrists looked red; burned.
Rope still hugging.

FLASH TO: running through the rain

FLASH TO: red. seeping through the lines on my skin.

FLASH TO: the way my hair kept getting in my face.

FLASH TO: kissing you. quiet. kisses seem distant.
Maybe you're off thinking.
No more stars in your stare.
And your dreams are dripping. all over the floor.
Whats that you say?
I can't hear you.


Lies/sex tape

Blush /razor blade

Wig /hollow skull

Dress/neon jungle

Launderette/spider spit

Lip stick / venom bit



She is not a slave to the crowd



Lobster claws and widow legs...

The night froze twilight

In a sky of synthetic smiles...

Trees twist a hallow path

As she feels her rib cage splinter into a second set of limbs

The solar system seemed to weep her presence in a forest of blood stained eyes

That pushes along her half eaten abdomen

The crystal tears from her eyes

Cataract cornea / diamond web


Her face is shrouded in whiteout

Nods a jig for the man in the corner ...

A crippled piano note compilation...

She poses, moves her torso to the floating notes

Like whitewater to the silhouette pianist

Memories forgotten in a spin

The past erased in a grin

He walked webs of ice to take her.. On harpsichord flattery...

Fighting to feel between the binary skin

Only to conjure a pair of yellow eye sockets

And she squints to see truth...

Like sun gazing

For the first time where is love now?

Now that sex and lies are shattered.


The implosion from her scream crashed planets
And cut time in a flip

On a de-framed axis only to realize

There is nothing left

In mid contraction tiime froze / a yolk still birth

Like nothing ever existed


So I'm here in lovely hospital again...crutches and all :)
At least I have my laptop for company!
And my brother Ross...he's actually so good...I don't say it to his face but I really appreciate him being here and I love him to bits.
Have a big ass needle in my arm and a bag of blood yuck yuck yuck I feel disgusting..like a vampire...blech...well it's not actually blood its a blood product or something..I don't really pay attention anymore.

And another smaller ass needle in my other arm with some other shit in it...I look like a robot...can't bend my arms!

And I can't eat :( Eating is my favourite hobby!

And what's on TV right now...a cooking programme! I'd nearly ate the leg off the table at this stage.

I'm so hungry I'd eat a scabby child through a wicker basket.

Ah I wouldn't really!...or would I ...?

I smell toast...*sniff sniff* ok I look like a hunting dog now

Eugh

Laters








The Broken Toe Chronicles

So I'm a bit behind in my blogging...alot going on at the moment in my crazy household...

First thing on the list...my poor toe....my hallux...my metatarsal...
OK so I opened my bag the morning after the debs and was like...tin of dog food wft?
Thought I'd make use of it and give it to my dog (Aristotle)
dropped said can on my toe...OUCH
Is it tin or can? I hate when old people say "Get me a tin of orange" YOU MEAN A CAN!
I love old people actually, they're quite interesting and cuddly.

Then I accidentally dropped a bottle of perfume on my toe...like a really big glass fucking bottle! That weighs approximately 700g ( No I'm not that sad I didn't actually weigh it)
There is a picture...there is a picture....evil evil perfume...
Only conformist bastards wear perfume anyways




So basically I have big ugly crutches now...but with a bit of Dani imagination and blue peter inspired DIYin (not dying DIYing as in doing DIY so doing do it yourself) I now have a nifty pair of pink crutches with badass skulls and crossbones and hello kitty stickers lol
Like Tom said...I pimped my ride lol

And also I started a different medication which makes me kinda sleepy...which is benificial to everyone i my family because I'm quiet for once ha

Oh and another thing my Mom rang me yesterday with some...news.
Perhaps I might discuss that in a different blog when i feel like I can

Love and cuddles my interweb...nobodys..because nobody reads this...*sniff*









SO I thought it was about time I posted some of my

songs I wrote...if you wanna have a listen mail me =D



Finding hard to breathe
Your sick heart suffocates me
And my whole body is shaking
And I feel my heart is breaking
Give me one last kiss
And I'll savour those moments spent on your lips
On your lips
Your sick sick heart never cared for mine
You didn't love me
You were wasting time



I hold my breath and bit my lip
And wait for the pain to sink in
Any second now
Hold my heart
Hold my heart inside your hand inside your hand
Promise not
Promise not to break it


Don't feed me sad little lies
My heart's not about to go blind
I've heard your foolish words way too many times



So I'm back for more action :)
That sounds sick..sorry bloggy I didn't mean it like that...I'd never use you for my own satisfaction.

ooh...that didn't sound good...
brb loo

Ok that veggie stirfry did NOT agree with me...went throught me like the luas...actually no...more like a non stop concorde flight from...Dublin to Belfast (If concorde flights were still running of course.)

Ok gotta be more ladylike and stuff...

So the whole reason I started this blog was to give darling Fuzzy a mention in my fantabulous blog :) Heeeyyyy Fuzzy! How ya doin babes :)

We had this really interesting convo today about my eating habits. It went something like this:
Fuzzy: You're such a fatty
Little innocent Dani: I'm not *sniff*
Fuzzy: Yes you are you're always eating and stuff
Little innocent Dani: No I'm not (tears start streaming down Dani's lil face
Fuzzy: *slaps Dani across the face and tells her to go make him some pie
Little innocent Dani: *creeps into the kitchen and makes Fuzzy a pie
Fuzzy: WHERE'S THE CREAM BITCH!
Little innocent Dani: We don;t have any Fuzzy...you ate it all last night after you made me walk 16 and a half miles to buy you chocolate cake
Fuzzy: IMBICELE!
Little innocent Dani: Will some ice cream I made earlier do Fuzzy?
Fuzzy: I suppose....*whispers "fatty"
Little innocent Dani: SUCK MY SWEATY BACK FLAPS BITCH
Fuzzy: Gladly :)

OK only around 5% of that story is actually true

So anyhoo....

I always thought the only benefit of drinking Ginger Ale was to make you burp more so you have more room fro more food...but apparently it's good for your gums too...Thanks for that Fuzzy..you're so full of wisdom...like a little Arabic Buddha...coverd in hair :)







So bloggy...my new bff :)
I'm baaack lol
Ur so understanding and everything...such a good listener!

I said I'd be back to update the debs story and here I am
not that anyone reads this or gives a crap...

I just realised that I have awful memory loss problems...so perhaps that update might have to wait until I get some flashbacks..OH MY GOD I MIGH HAVE TO GET HYPNOSIS TO RETREIVE THEM LOST MEMORIES...that would be so cool...

don't stick that in there
*surpressed memories*

So oh ya I sent Davey some of my original songs...he was so nice he even pretended to like them :)

T'was very nice of him :) all of my friends like them but that's coz they have awful taste in music...like Lisa and her Hannah Montata...swear to GOD and Katie who has never heard of Slipknot...and Sam who likes Westlife...thank JC for older brothers is all I say XD

So ya my songs are all kinda...not that good...and oh ya Dave's mates think I'm fake..which kinda wrecks myshit abit...psshhh..if I was gonna be fake I so would have invented a nice normal family...a nice personality and I certainly would have cut out most of the crap that's in my life...like my hair..my nose...and other not so superficial things like the situation with my parents and my brother...

So ya...I'm kinda proud of who I am it kinda makes me mad now...hell I'm mad! Grrrrrrr
Ooooh frosties :) They're grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr eat :)

So Dave if you're reading this...How about a picture of me with like a mallet...or a meat cleaver muahahahahahaaaaaaaa

I don't think I even own a meat cleaver don't worry!

I KEEP PEEING WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME !

wheeere is myyy mind???

I was swimming in the carribean...animals were hiding behind the rocks

except for a fish..tried to talk to me koi koi

I'm afraid that when I get old I'lll get urge incontinence

I got the UUUUUUURGE to herbal

pizza out boats and hoes

<3

xx











ThE MorNIng AfTEr thE nIgHt bEfOrE

What day is it today?? Emm...Wednesday? At 14:10 hours stat...
I'm on the couch with the beast...surprise surprise we are friends! Even though he said I smell like a brewery...I sensed a hint of pride in his voice about the fact that his little girl was growing up.
Oh Daddy...if only you knew...
So I arrrived home like 2 hours ago...and logged onto msn where I proceded to have an interesting convo with my bitch Dave (I love you really)
As I was emptying out my bag I discovered the following:
1. A pair of Calvin Klein boxers
2. A pair of childrens' shoes
2. A water gun
3. Shutter shades
4. Pimp style dollar sign necklace
5. What looks like a chicken fillet?
6. Chalk
7. A candle
8. An onion
9. A piece of wood
10. What looks like a piece of an engine or something...
and finally
A tin of dog food..which I dropped on my frickin toe!

Oh ya I was at a Debs lastnight. My brother's friend Jamie brought me which was kinda nice :) I love getting dressed up and shiz. Was in the Radisson which was nice the food was suweeet :)
Oh shit I just sneezed...food everywhere...I need window wipers for my laptop screen...! OOOOOOhhhhhhh I should be an inventor! I could invent all sorts of things like....that thing in Casper that dresses ya! COOOLIES!!! Or...an automatic like...oh I dunno I'm too tired. Oh an automatic little robot that goes in your handbag and you say "Poopy! Hand me my phone" and ur bag...will hand you your phone...! Or...a machine that you can make TOASTED SANDWICHES IN! Or howabout...a big box...that keeps all your drinks COLD!

FUCKING GENIUS

SO ya the Debs was good...my brother dropped me over to Jamie's house and had the decorum to say "I'm off like a Debs dress" as he was leaving...in front of Grandparents and children and everything...
And I wore an oraiste dress which was different I suppose :) Looked teeny bit like a pumpkin but hey everyone likes pumpkins :)

I find myself eerily alert and clear minded...I wonder why that is...My throat is ripped to shreds from absinthe shots with a girl from Cork called Cath who called Gardai "Shades" and talked like a French person in Glenroe. She was my best bud for the night :) We were first up on the dancefloor...okay I admit it I actually got up beside the band air guitaring to the last lol

A guy jumped out a window (because if cath and her absinthe) but he landed in a bush and it was a groundfloor window anyways)

Ooooh we got a stretch hummer which was niiice :) And had champagne and shit like that :)

My shoes were killers to wear! Had to buy them last minute and never got to break them in or anything!

Had so much fun anyways and made loadsa new friends :)
Oh and I sang for everyone too...*cringe*
The house party was mega! Slept for an hour on a windowsill which was very refreshing :)

So....that is all...my eyes feel like sandpaper....


So anyways...
I'm in a really weird situatiion with a guy...
He has a girlfriend...
and he treats me like I'm a toy
Which is pretty awful for me...because I absolutely adore the guy...and you're probably thinking what a bitch...
But I couldn't help falling for him...
heart over ass
I wish I had the balls to tell him how it feels to be in my shoes...pretty and all as they are (Guess pumps hehe)

It feels...like...SHIT BASICALLY

It probably sounds so cheesy but I just want to feel special..like I'm loved and stuff...

He kinda thinks it's all a game or something...somethimes it feels like he plays with my feelings and messes with my head

So...I went shopping with my aunt today...well like this morning :D
Into BTs of course because my taste in clothing is exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell butter from the "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" ad.
So anyways we were shopping and I got scouted by this model agent dude lmao...frickin hilarious
It's funny the way people think everyone gives a crap about all that stuff...he though I'd be falling all over him or whateveR PSHHH lol

Anyways I was more impressed with the height of the guy he was like....as tall as a 6ft6 inch tree! MASSIVE like
Plus he was soooo hot! Like super hot!But ya I then took Aristotle (my doggy) for a walk woth some friends...bitches soaked me! We were on the beach...sooo romantic :)
*cue images of baywatch run*

So now I'm in the couch kinda sulking...I hate being a girl right now it sucks majorly....I'm gonna go get a panadol and finish this laters :)
Not that anyone cares...because nobody reads this lol


So I'm waiting for this test to end
So these lighter days can soon begin
I'll be alone but maybe more carefree
Like a kite that floats so effortlessly
I was afraid to be alone
Now I'm scared thats how I'd like to be
All these faces none the same

How can there be so many personalities
So many lifeless empty hands
So many hearts in great demand
And now my sorrow seems so far away

Until I'm taken by these bolts of pain
But I turn them off and tuck them away
until these rainy days that make them stay
And then I'll cry so hard to these sad songs

And the words still ring, once here now gone
And they echo through my head everyday
And I dont think they'll ever go away
Just like thinking of your childhood home
But we cant go back we're on our own
But i'm about to give this one more shot
And find it in myself

So were speeding towards that time of year
To the day that marks that you're not here
And i think I'll want to be alone
So please understand if I dont answer the phone
I'll just sit and stare at my deep blue walls
Until I can see nothing at all
Only particles some fast some slow
All my eyes can see is all I know

But I'm about to give this one more shot
And find it in myself

Happy Birthday Dylan...I'll miss you forever

haha
I didn't really lose my virginity
I thought it might make this post more interesting
well I did lose it..like a while ago...
But that is besides the point
So ya I was over at my brother's place last night...
Got HAMMERED jokes
we went for dominos at around...I can't remember...
anyhooo I losted my phone :(

TRAUMATISED

Looked everywhere...but no phone :(
*sniff*

But I read Davey's blog which cheered me up :)


It was a savage ass i-phone and everything

Needless to say the beast will flip out...


I aplogise bloggy...and anyone who bothers to read this...for I'm using you to vent my anger. I'm gonna rip the shit outofit. I am so...absolutely Indescribably angry.
Let me se if I can find an angrier font...
I'm angry
angry
mad
pissed off
crazy ass psycho bitch
gonna stab someone in the face
cross
hmm...
I think this one's best
Perhaps bold
Oooh Looks like X files now

So ya
I'm really pissed off...all guys seriously beware becaus I have the most god-awful relationship with my father...apparently that will make me like psycho or something I DUNNO GOOGLE IT IF U REALLY GIVE A CRAP.
sorry
anyhoo...I call my father the Beast or the Dragon for a variety of reasons...
1. He's really tall and scary
2. He has a really deep growly voice
3. He practically guards me inside the house like I mean it's ridiculous at this stage.
Like I'm kinda innocent when it comes to 16 year olds these days...I'm like a 16 year old back in the 50's or something...
I say LIKE TOO MUCH! like

I'd totally move out to my Mum if it wasn't for the fact that I'd miss my friends...and the person this blog is about not the beast!!!!!
You see there's this one person...who I really really really really really like (Ok I had to say like there)
The only problem is I've never actually met this person face to face...and either has the beast...so the beast is using this as the excuse for me NOT to meet him...

And not only am I pissed about not seeing him kinda breaks my heart

what hurts even more is the fact that I'm letting him down

Like I think he should go get a life (the beast)...and if he's gonne be mean to his kids perhaps not have any more bitch!! He already has 12 kids. contraception much???

It's actually so unfair...I know I'm starting to sound like a stroppy teenager and you're all like "Oh think of all the other problems in the world"

Well guess what?? This is MY world and this is important to me!

My world that I'm trapped in kinda sorta whatever...

I'm going to now use quotes from the goth kids in South Park to express my...I dunno....
you ripped my heart out and RAPED it

Shallow Life.
Drowning alone I gasp for air
Cold creeps over pale skin
There is sadness... so deep, it pulls me down
Happiness dies in the deep, dark sea

I miss seeing you so much, I wanna slice my eyes out with razorblades.


So ya...I'm out

<3





This is a totally serious post from me about my greatest hero of all time.


Mother Teresa





She rocked!





It's not about religion or anything like that...just about the amazing person that she was and the legacy she left.

If I turn out to be even the slightest bit like her I will be HAPPY :)

Good works are links that form a chain of love

I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world.

If you judge people, you have no time to love them

Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.


We shall never know all the good that a simple smile can do.


Okay so I know this guy...and he's really great :)


He even helped me fix my blogger and make it somewhat cool :)

So anyways I said I'd write a little bit about him to say thank you and also to cheer him up.

You see he's an UNREAL guitarist and he broke his hand! TRAVESTY! As you can imagine he's kiiinda majorly pissed off...
BUT WAIT until you hear the heroic tale of how he broke his hand...It's truly...AMAZING
He's like a knight in...jeans and stuff.
So one day he was all innocently hanging out with his friends near a tree.
NOT AN ORDINARY TREE! An absolute EXCUSE for a tree!
Wouldn't know a moral if it danced naked in front of it...a moral wouldn't do that would it?? ok if it like...knocked on it's door with a bunch of flowers.

SO this tree anyways was all like shooting up....It was totally high! Off it's tits...twigs?
Oh ro the rattlin bog the vog down in the alley-o oh ro the rattlin bog the bog down in the alley-o and in that bog there was a hole a rare hole a rattlin hole with the hole in the bog and the bog down in the valley-o

And there were kids around and everything...DISGRACE! And Dave was like hey...dude in fairness what are ya doin?? And the tree was all up in his business like YO MAMA SO HAIRY YOU GOT CARPET BURN WHEN U WAS BORN!

Then it started picking up random children from the nearby playground and flinging them all over the place...there were literally tens of dizzy kids faling around the place and to make matters WORSE it exposed itself...It also slapped 4 babies, tipped 7 cows, knocked 2 kids' icecreams, stole candy from a toddler, shaved a dog, strangled 12 kittens, stole a homeless guys sign that said "Give me money for a hostel", span an old lady around so she got lost, stole a builder's breakfast roll AND made fun of Emos...to their FACES

I'm getting tired now so I'll finish here...basically Dave did some karate moves on the tree,went all Bruce Lee on its ass...then punched it in the face and unfortunately...broke his hand...

I have since been to see the tree...I stuck a chopstick in its eye

FIN
(No trees, babies, horses, iguanas, cows, kittens, childresn, homeless people, old people, toddlers, cats, bananas, sailors, wasps, builders or otters were hurt in the making of this story...only Dave...and the tree(a tiny bit))

All characters in this story are fictional and any resemblances to real people are unintentional*except Dave*






I Love DAVE!!!!
He is Dead Sexy!!;)
XOXOXOXOXOX



So my good friend Fuzzy gave me the idea to write about someone who is REALLY special to me :)

This person is Andy

He's the coolest guy EVER...he's funny, cute, random and has the EXACT SAME SENSE OF HUMOUR AS ME :)(and he's 3)

He's my little brother and I love him to bits :)

I wasn't very happy when I first met him because I was the youngest for like forever...

We were shopping the other day and this woman thought he was MY kid and started giving me dirty looks he he

At his open day for playschool...they had these little chairs for children and this...not so slender woman sat on one...and ANDY little brat! goes "Dani look at that big bum on that little chair"

He should be a COMEDIAN :)









Just a quick post to say thank u Davey for making my blog a bit more interesting :D
xxxxxxx


Early morning, childhood. Rushing for the cereal in hopes that my brother didn't get there first. He did. All gone. JERK!
Friday afternoon, childhood. Mum always goes grocery shopping. Rushing home from school, hoping that my brother didn't lick the frosting off all the cupcakes. He did. Disgusting. JERK!
Christmas morning, childhood. Running down the stairs, hoping my brother didn't get there first to go through all the packages and hide mine behind the tree, placing his right up front. Too late, it's become a present hunt. JERK!
Beautiful summer morning, childhood. Ready to get on my bike for the days great adventure. Bike is gone, so is my brother. Drats! Foiled again. Why can't he fix his own damn bike and leave mine alone. JERK!
Cleaning of my face mask. A flash goes off. Damn that Polaroid my brother got for Christmas last year! Finish dressing quickly, chase the bastard around the house, trying to get the picture he took before my date arrives. Too late, it's gone....taped to the front door without my knowledge. It's the first thing my date sees when he rings the doorbell. JERK!
My brother buys me a dog for "protection". I'm starting to like my brother. My best friend of 12 years dies suddenly in an car accident. I'm beyond consolation. My brother stays with me for 3 days, taking care of me,making sure I eat, sleep, and just LIVE. I couldn't have gotten through it without him. I'm starting to really LOVE my brother.
Tuesday night in June. My mom calls me to gently tell me my brother is "gone". I can't breath, I can't sleep, I can't eat. He was too young to leave. My Rock was gone. How could this happen? How could he leave me like that? JERK! A warm August night. It's 12 AM. I'm sitting on my balcony, in the dark, unable to sleep. The night is gorgeous, warm and breezy. The sky is loaded with stars, made even brighter by a full moon....I love you, brother.


anyhooo...I just got like a death threat from this guy called fuzzy...and he said if I don't mention him in my blog he was gonna eat my kitten...then pee in his hand and throw it in my face...

3.
Dani
Dani is a person who will always be there for her friends, she is sometimes crazy but great to be around, usually dark hair, beautiful green eyes,an amazing body, and a very cute nose, she is one of a kind. dani will always protect her friends. and throw down some letters to those bitches who mess with her.
Boy 1: dude i think im in love with that one chick. she is a shining star.
Boy 2: what chick, ohhhh i think her name is dani.

One...I'm always crazy. Two..I have ugly one brown and one blue/green eye...three I have a nose like a doctor's forhead...four...what the hell does throw down some words mean??

psssh Americans and their fancy phrases

ooh kangaroo balls are sooooft :)

<3




So anyway...ya the name's Dani...Daniella...Ella...Dookie?? And many others...On my search for the meaning of life (not really I was just really bored one day) I typed my name into an "urban dictionary". An "urban dictionary" is supposedly meant to contain vocab used by "cool" "urban" people...(not really I just made that up) maybe that is what it means...I shall look it up later !!! (No I won't I lie 85% of the time)

So ANYWAY the Urban Dictionary...here is what I found....

1.
A person with lots of layers of goodness, like an onion without the crying and the smell.

I will agree to a certain extent with this one...although my brother Ross will beg to differ....My hair has layers...kinda :)

2.
Every Dani that I've met is the same - petite, dark hair, dark eyes, witty, intelligent, somewhat pretty... It's saying something about the name! A short girl and a spunky attitude.

WHO THE FUCK WROTE THESE??? Spunky?? was this written in the bronze age??
anyway I'm kinda bored of this now...
apologies for the "shitty" first blog

oooh a butterfly :)

<3
Peace out